grumpy pants

Grumble, grumble.  Complain and moan.  Grumble some more.  Snappy, snide comments.  Bickering.  Grumble even more. 

How have I become so grumpy?  Nothing makes me happy, not even taking a nap.  I don't want to read, I don't want to watch TV, I don't want to do anything!  All I want to do is sit and complain.

My heart felt heavy.  It felt trapped in this dark cave of gloom and doom and despair. 

This is ridiculous, I told myself.  Go for a walk, I commanded myself.  So I bundled and headed out the door to walk around the block a few times.  A couple minutes in, I could feel myself relaxing.  Almost as if I had put down a heavy box of stuff I was carrying. 
Lord, why am I so grumpy?  I asked myself.  Then I heard the Lord whisper: "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quiet and confidence shall be your strength.  But you would not..."
Oh.  That was like a slap in the face. 

I realized on that walk how important time with the Lord is.  How my very attitude and mood are affected by my spending time with Him.  I had thought for a long time that  a few minutes here or there, a couple stretches of going without praying and studying the Word would be ok....I mean, everybody's busy, right? 
This attitude is awful!  I can absolutely not make it through anything without the Lord!  It is foolish for me to think that I can.  I need to make quiet times with the Lord a priority. 

The Lord wants to talk to me, and teach me, and hear from me.  I hope that I remember this lesson.  I hope that I can remember how meaningful and how crucial quiet times are with the Lord.